Sharing a Car with Your Wife? Here Are 4 Magic Tips

When it comes to putting gas, whoever is driving the vehicle at the time it needs gas puts it in. For repairs, however notice that the vehicle needs repairs first, does it. The list is practically simple – and endless.

Except that, this doesn’t (generally) work in the real world.

In the real world, sharing a car with your wife or husband, boyfriend or girlfriend is usually marred with a lot of challenges that if not addressed properly, will threaten the relationship itself, right to its roots.

However, with a little care and understanding, this can be avoided, smartly. If you ever are in a position to share a car with your wife, consider taking these steps as a measure to ensure that the process is as smooth as possible.

Important Note:

This guide is as practical as I can make it. This means, I’ve drawn from my own experience sharing a vehicle with my wife and the lessons I learned from that phase of my motoring life/marriage.

What this means is that, this entry is largely subjective – and you may not completely agree with me (which is okay).

Read with an open mind and pick the lessons/points that best resonate with you. Like Tired of Car Fights? You’re likely to see at least one point that will serve you down the line.

Let’s get to it.

1. Memory Seats

Memory seats are largely considered a luxury and unfortunately, in 2025, most new cars still don’t have them as standard options.

Unfortunately, the entire driving position (mirrors, seats, steering) – and not just the seats should all have memory settings for all vehicles today and this shouldn’t be for the fun of it.

Your partner, usually, is up to a foot taller or shorter than you are – meaning that the driving positions that work for them won’t work for you (and vice versa).

The first thing you should look out for when hunting for a car that you intend to share with your wife is to make sure that your desired year and model actually comes powered with memory driving positions, for at least two persons.

And, importantly, after the purchase, each partner should save their preferred settings in the vehicle’s memory, deferring to it when they drive.

Getting the right driving setting, even for a vehicle that isn’t shared is art – and requires a lot of trial and error. Take your time as a couple and get it right.

2. Remember the Gas/Charge

It’s easy to preach equality in marriage/relationships today and expect each gender to contribute equally in everything.

This is a great concept and if it works for you, brilliant.

However, in most relationships, while partners strive to treat each other fairly and equally – extending the ‘fairness’ to responsibilities, the fact remains that for most men, sharing a car with their wives means waking up to an empty gas tank or a vehicle with zero charge.

And no, it isn’t the women’s fault, at least, most of the time!

Looking after hyper active kids can be draining: for the husbands who look after these little angles, they know this as fact. When you need to work, take care of the home, tackle the kids and ensure the vehicle is fit to run the next day, you’re likely going to forget something and no, it won’t be the kid’s (or the time to pick them up).

This is why, to ease your wife off the burden of juggling too many things at the same time, make it your responsibility to ensure that your shared vehicle always has gas or is charged.

On the other hand, if the converse holds true (i.e. you’re taking care of the kids and keeping the home) your wife also ought to be considerate and ensure that that the gas or charge is sorted, periodically in a manner that suits your driving schedules.

3. Maintenance

My wife loves to hang around the vehicle when I’m fixing it; she also loves the idea of fixing the vehicle directly (most of the time I’m stuck, she’s the one who actually suggests an idea that works). But, somehow, she has never gone past the occasional engine oil and tranny fluid check.

This is almost like an unwritten rule: the vehicle maintenance is most likely going to be on you. Your case might be an exception and your wife may be interested in opening hoods and playing with wrenches but with men being six time more likely to be engineers (mechanical or otherwise) than woman, good luck with the odds.

What this translates to is that, fixing the vehicle or taking it to the mechanic to fix is (mostly) your responsibility.

Now, most wives would love to help and actually extend a helping hand in this regard. If you’re so blessed, good.

However, know your position (as Special Agent Hobbs said in the Fast and Furious).

4. Learn to Calm Down

One of the things you’ll learn in the course of sharing a car with your wife is that women are generally more visual than men.

This is largely an evolutionary sex difference but when it comes to vehicles and how they are used, you’re likely going to view – and judge it through difference lenses.

Your wife may likely want the steering wheel covered with some fancy looking stuff and the seats to be in her favorite color…these can be annoying, especially for a newly married man.

The trick, however, is learning to ignore as much as possible while explaining in the process why some things can’t be the way she wants them.

Eventually, you’ll wind up with a compromise – and if it’s good enough, take it. The stress and arguments about the interior color of the vehicle don’t matter as much as how fit for purpose the vehicle is (which you can largely influence, unchallenged).

Sharing a Car with Your Wife? It’s an Art!

Sharing a car with your wife is an art that many few men master. For most, they simply roll with it and for others, they simply bear the process.

The best way to navigate this phase of your life together is to proceed with love, care and understanding, while also respecting individual and biological differences.

When the above are factored – and internalized, it could be a fun experience not just for you, the husband, but also for your wife and by extension, your marriage as a whole!

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